Well, when I was sick a couple weeks ago, I finally backed down and watched the said film. I won't say which one it is as not to offend.
All I can say is: I. Hated. The. Movie.
Ok, hate is a strong word. I'll opt for disliked.
From the first scene until the last one I felt myself becoming stupid to stupider to stupidest, not to say I was stupid from the very beginning. Although, perhaps I was stupid even to watch the movie to begin with, eh?
That being said, no matter how much I thought: "This movie is stupid. Why am I watching it? I should just turn it off. My brain cells are disappearing in great numbers with every second I continue watching this stupid movie." I just couldn't stop watching it. I was pulled in by its sheer stupidity that I had to find out what was going to happen. Ugh!
This makes me think of how my brain works--no, no, I'm not saying I'm stupid--I'm saying that how my brain functions is like watching this movie. As a writer, I'm extremely critical about my writing, very insecure and dwell on these insecurities until they fester and grow to enormous sky-scrapper sized blobs of insanity. I just can't stop feeding them, therefore I take counsel from my fears when I should just turn my fears off and have faith.
Faith in my craft. Faith in my journey. Faith in, well, ME--Julia King and I'm supercool!
Like the rather stupid movie I watched, I shouldn't pay heed to these fears. I should just write because I've got stories to tell. It'd be so much easier that way and far more productive. But how to do that when the insecurities are so ingrained in the miniscule fibers of my brain? That is the million dollar question!
I don't know. I don't know if I'll ever know. All I can do is keep going. All writers with insecurities can do is keep going. It isn't easy but it is worth it.
So stop watching a stupid movie if it's stupid. And stop adding fuel to your insecurities. Start thinking about how ridiculously awesome you are!