The Cold Staples

Last week, the cold monster crept its sneaky little germs into my stuffy-nosed existence. Well, the stuffy nose isn't as bad (hallelujah), and I don't have to sleep in the sitting position anymore. The only time I want to sleep in the sitting position in the near future is if I'm on a plane flying to a really cool place, say like, Australia or somewhere cool like that.

 

It seems that this nasty cold has been traveling around my office and many people I know. So, I offer you the staples needed when (let's say "if" because who wants to have a cold, anyway? I do not wish this upon you) the cold hits. The list is as follows:

• Three Pillows (more if needed): Since sleeping will inevitably be in the sitting position so you don't drown in your muck (TMI--Sorry!).
• Doctor: For Pete's sake, just go to the doctor right when the cold peeks it's grimy little head into your fragile existence. And I don't mean Doctor Who, although, he would be a nice person to visit with while feeling ill (Eye Candy: Yay for David Tennant and Matt Smith).
• Cough Syrup: Medicine prescribed by the above mentioned doctor to promote a restful night's sleep and relief from congestion.
• Cough Drops: To assuage the hacking cough that wakes you up once you've finally fallen asleep.
• Tissues: To blow your nose that seems to endlessly run or to literally stuff up your nose when blowing ceases to work. I suggest lotion enhanced tissues because your nose is going to be rubbed raw from all the blowing.
• Humidifier: Well, to humidify the air in your room while you sleep. For some reason that's supposed to help.
• Netflix and Movies: To keep you entertained while blowing your nose and hacking up a lung and complaining to your roomie that you want to die.
• Books: Undoubtedly, you will wake up in the middle of the night unable to sleep. Netflix and movies will no longer capture your attention, but (cha ching) a book sure will.
• Sick Leave Hours: You may need to take time off work. Hopefully, you'll have sick leave hours to compensate for the missed time.
• Orange Juice: Or just go to Jamba Juice and spend all your money on smoothies chuck full of fruit and add some boosts to help, well, boost your immunity system.
• Cell Phone: To call your parents and have them say a prayer that you'll fall asleep. Yes, have them say the prayer over the phone while you're listening. Sometimes desperation calls for desperate measures. Yes, I did this...I'll admit it!
• Food: Eat whatever you darn well please, the more calories and tasty the better cuz you can't taste anyway.
• Disinfectant Spray and Lotion: Kill those germs not only for your sake but for the sake of those around you. No spreading those pesky germs!
• Water: Because your throat is gonna be sandpaper dry and you need all the fluids you can get.

Anyway, there's my list. Do you have anything you'd like to add? Have you gotten this rotten cold this season? Or are you living in a bubble to keep the germs at bay? What are your tricks to get rid of a cold and fast? Come on, you know we all want to know! Well, I sure do...for way-maybe-in-ten-years future reference. ;)

 

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